Being a Parisian woman is more than just a simple question of location.
It's also more than a mysterious, unattainable attitude.
It's actually a generic set of rules such as:
What to wear (black), How to eat (petite bites), How to act (flirty but aloof), and What to be interested in (“culture”).
But why stop there?
What if there was a Parisienne way to do... everything.
Readers, you are in luck. Here's how to brush your teeth, the Parisienne way.
What to wear:
In this case, more what not to wear. If brushing in the morning, apply obligatory red lipstick afterwards. If brushing in the evening, remove red lipstick beforehand.
I can only imagine that, as a Parisienne, you’re wearing one of two things:
- All black, in which case watch out for rogue splodges of toothpaste dripping onto your clothes and disrupting your monochrome.
- Your best lingerie, in which case there are no pitfalls. Proceed.
How to brush your teeth like a Parisienne:
Enter the bathroom. Open the window so that the Eiffel Tower is visible in the distance and your neighbours can catch brief, seductive glimpses of you in a private moment. Squeeze a small amount of toothpaste onto your toothbrush. Turn on the tap and hold your toothbrush under the running water, briefly. Turn off the tap. Proceed to brush the toothbrush against your teeth for about two minutes. While doing so take this time to admire your reflection in the mirror or reflect on something sexy but slightly tragic. Like a fling you had a few summers ago.